Jen’s PASS Diary: Two Pillars for Leadership

As always, I don’t represent PASS. Here are my two pillars:

Say Thank You.

The number one item is to say ‘Thank You’ to people for their efforts, even if you don’t like what they did. They are on a path; and so are you. Saying Thank You is the glue to healthy communities, particularly on social media.  The duties of gratitude are perhaps the most sacred of those which the beneficent virtues prescribe to us. (18th Century Scottish economist and philosopher, Adam Smith, Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1759)

Empirical science agrees: gratitude, even a simple “thank you”, is a basis of leadership; without it, you can’t lead effectively. People will remember that they didn’t get a Thank You. I hear this often from volunteers, unfortunately, and it’s fairly universal across geographies and events, both within and outside of SQLFamily. Say it, and mean it. I don’t hold to Machiavelli’s maxim, written in the 16th Century: It is better to be feared than loved.

Expect criticism, both justified and unjustified.

I’ve taken a lot from John Donne’s 17th Century poem, the Prohibition. Here is an excerpt:

Take heed of hating me,
Or too much triumph in the victory ;
Not that I shall be mine own officer,
And hate with hate again retaliate ;
But thou wilt lose the style of conqueror,
If I, thy conquest, perish by thy hate.
Then, lest my being nothing lessen thee,
If thou hate me, take heed of hating me.

Donne was a metaphysical poet and you can take from this poem what you will.

One aspect for me is being isolated; outside a circle of friends, family, community, whatever you want to call it. When people criticise, occasionally, what they can actually mean is: I said that you were x, and that means that I must be, by definition, y. Example: you’re not a team player (because I said this, this must mean that I am a team player), you are not good at a particular thing (because I said this, that must mean that I am good at it). This means that they have the ‘style of conqueror’ because I give them something to point at, and therefore, I serve a purpose. When you recast criticism into these terms, suddenly, it becomes much less meaningful and what you realise is that you need to stay true to yourself, and not ‘hate with hate retaliate’. Really, it’s not worth it. The real trick is to work out whether it’s valid criticism or not, and look at the motivation.

So, what have I been working on?

I pulled two nighters, to try and pull together a draft strategy for PASS Business Analytics. At 43 years old, I thought that my days of working right through the night were over; well, they are not. I don’t believe that anyone else does this, particularly not for a volunteer role, and I thought I’d point it out here to show the level of commitment I have to the community.

Now that we are not doing a full PASS Business Analytics Conference in 2017, people must be wondering what we are doing next, and what the strategy is? Well, I am trying my best to define it and we will release when we have agreed and signed it off. This is going to take some time, unfortunately. Business Analytics touches all parts of PASS: finance, marketing, and the other Portfolios will also have input. We will also need to have an eye on things globally.  I’m also working on a few other things. I am doing Thought Leadership podcasts and if you want to give me a podcast, then please get in touch!

I am assisting some of the sponsors at the moment; I won’t say whom, at this point. Basically, I want them to have a good experience of dealing with PASS, and me personally of course, so I am trying to juggle to make sure that everything works out well for them. I am not a great fan of the word ‘sponsor’ – personally, I prefer ‘Partner’. It feels more equitable.

Given that I have a good pillar and a bad pillar of Leadership, and this is a ton of hard work, why am I doing it? Well, it really is lonely at the top, even if you don’t see that you are at the top of anything at all, others do, and that’s when it starts.

Truth is, I have learned a lot of lessons, certainly more than just two! and I’m left with very few real friends. Now, the thing is, when you realise that you have really nobody left, then it actually gives you a certain freedom and a latitude. That realisation is a gift. Along with that gift, I’ve come to withstand criticism a lot better, but it’s also made me determined that I will not ‘hate with hate again retaliate’. People’s actions speak for themselves, and I don’t need to say a single word about it. I will just continue to try to do good things, and hopefully you will join me on the way.

I think that you put into it, what you get out of it. It’s not all bad. I have met some wonderful people who continue to shine a light out. To them, I say Thank You. Some people have got Thank Yous coming their way, and I will let them know that they are heartfelt.

With leadership, you have to stick true to yourself because, actually, it’s the only way to be. I think that these two pillars feed into that, for me. What do you think?

I keep this diary so that you come on a journey with me, and I wonder if you’d reach the same conclusions? I’d be interested in your thoughts.

Love,

Jen